Working My Way Back to You Babe!

So I am back gang. Oh I have been super active on my food blog, but I have missed my opportunity to ramble about the random crap that is happening in my life. You know, like my obsession with The Walking Dead, True Blood, So You Think You Can Dance, The Voice, The Blacklist, Hell's Kitchen, Masterchef....holy crap when do I find time to cook??? Thank God Kevin works nights, I can cook by day, and watch my shows all night. Sleep? PPffttttt we don't need no stinkin' sleep!

My life has changed quite a bit since my last post a bazzilion years ago. Kiddos have all moved out, which don't get me wrong is a good thing. I mean my house is now clothing optional, if dishes are in the sink I know who is to blame (Kevin of course), no stomping up and down the stairs at all hours of the night. But one of my sources of fun, and some seriously wacky situations, is gone.

Now my source of entertainment are the family of deer that have invaded my yard, this city girl seriously geeks out over them.

DAY 1

Me - OMG Kevin there are 2 deer in the front yard! Grab some apples so we can give them a treat!!

Kevin - Oh that is so cool, I will buy more tomorrow.

DAY 5
Me - OMG Kevin there are 3 deer in our front yard! Do we have any more apples?
Kevin - Ummm no, I will buy a few pounds tomorrow.

Day 30
Me - Kevin Kevin Kevin, there is a huge buck in the front yard eating the apples!
Kevin - Damn that dude can put down some apples. I guess I better go pick a box up tomorrow.

5 MONTHS LATER
Me - OMG Kevin the Momma had twin fawns!
Kevin - Seriously, WOW they are so cute!

2 MONTHS LATER
Me - Aaawwww the babies are eating with Momma now. Oh and Tina (one of the other deer) brought a friend!
Kevin - *annoyed look* these guys had better start mowing the lawn and doing laundry! I thought we got rid of creatures that lay around all day and eat all of our food!

So, my friends I seem to have replaced my 2 footed kids with a whole freaking herd of 4 footed kids. But atleast these kids don't give me lip or want to drive my car!

I am also trying so hard to overcome my black thumb by growing a garden. I have done OK the past couple of years with tomatoes, but other things have been kind of meh. Last year I had to hand pollinate my squash and zucchini. This year I can't even do that. I have not one...ZERO female blossoms on the plant. All boys. Leave to me to end up with gay zucchini.

Anyway, that is just a tad of what has been happening in my action pack *koff koff* life since last we chatted. How the heck have you been?

Wine Anyone?

For those that know me it is no shock to see a post with this title. I am a self proclaimed wino and damn proud of it!! You can keep your mixed drinks (although I won't run from a good dirty martini now and then), or your fancy beer. Give me a bottle of wine (and I don't share so bring your own) and I am a happy happy girl!!!

Hope you got a giggle from these, I know I did. And if you didn't have some wine and read them again dammit!!!

Will you be my Valentine?

I love Valentines Day. I have to admit it *hanging head in shame* but I am just a hopeless romantic so a day dedicated purely to showing someone you love them is right up my alley! I know, I know, it is a "Hallmark holiday" right? Well I will throw the BS flag on that. It is only a Hallmark holiday if you make it that way. I don't need expensive gifts I just want to be shown how much I am loved. Write me a note and make me some brownies. Seriously! How romantic would it be to drink a glass of wine and eat a brownie by candle light? OK so maybe that was a bit of a stretch, but you get what I am saying.

Anyway, I ran across the tutorial to make this Valentines Day "card" at The Craft Monkey and just HAD to make it. I knew I had the perfect picture for it. A couple of years ago I gave my daughter a bunch of fake mustaches for Christmas and she had fun putting them on everyone. But the best one was her with our dog Barney (aka the Uberdoggy). I just love the way it turned out!!!

Feeling a bit lost.....

I know I haven't posted in a while. I have been so busy with my cooking blog. But I am thinking that has been a bit of a problem for me. This is where I come to vent and get my mind straight (or as straight as it can be). I know the few people that read this blog know the emotional side of me. Here I am not trying to "keep it all together" I am just me plain and simple. All of my flaws, warts, short comings, whatever you want to call them, are out in the open and good or bad, love me or hate me, I am just me! By not posting I think I have been holding things in a bit and feel at times like I am treading water with no sight of the shore.

I haven't posted since my father passed away. My wonderful Daddy died 2 days after Thanksgiving. He really was my world. I love my children and would die for them, but I was always Daddy'd girl. Seeing him everyday (we lived in the same home) and talking with him was one of the biggest highlights of my Day. His smile, his laugh, his dry sense of humor. Never failed to make my heart warm.

It wasn't like I didn't know he was sick. He had been struggling with lung cancer for 6 + years. He had 4 surgeries and was on his second round of chemo. I watched him go from a strong active man to a man that had aged 20 years and could barely get around. Yet my heart could not let go. He didn't want to do the second round of chemo but he did it for me, because he knew I didn't want to be without him. Like I said, he was a wonderful Father. Quiet, not a huggy mushy kind of guy, but you felt his love without the words needing to be spoken, and the fact that he subjected himself to another round of treatment was only more proof of that love.

These last couple of months have been so difficult for me. I spent the better part of December crying at the drop of a hat. Everyday I would wait for him to come downstairs to chat with me while I had my coffee. Even though I knew it wouldn't happen my heart longed for it and broke everyday I had to accept the fact that he would never come down those stairs again looking for our morning conversation. I have accepted the fact that he is gone now, but there are still times that I swear I hear him or smell him and my heart skips as I hold my breath wishing it was really true.

I have been told that my tears are a bit selfish. That my father was very sick and is in a much better place now. No more pain, no more discomfort. I understand that and know it is the truth, but my tears are not wishing he would come back. I would never wish that pain and misery on him again. My tears are only for my loss. I miss him, I am lost without him. I guess if that makes me selfish so be it.

Now that it has been a couple months and the new year is here. I feel as though I need to "hold it all together". Those around me seem to have moved on and accepted the loss. I feel that it is not fair for me to bring them all down. Yet I am stuck in that moment. You see I am the one that found him. I am the one that called 911, and I am the one that had to make the decision for the paramedics to let him go. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it plays in my head almost every day. Everyone tells me there is nothing I could have done, and that I made the right decision. But I want to say until you have seen what I have seen and had to make the decision I had to make. I really don't think you can grasp the whole experience. Lord knows I would not wish that on anyone! It is just truly how I feel.

So that leads me to now and this post. What is the point of it? I am not sure really. I don't even know if anyone will read this. All I know is I miss him, I love him, and I feel so very lost without him!!

Pinning!!!

I have decided to share the pictures I find during my prowling through the internet for interesting things. OK so really I am just mindlessly surfing when I find these but I want it to sound better than that!!

I hope they make you smile, they did me :)

AMEN!!

I love my son!!

LAWL

Well it IS almost the season 

Oh you mean I have to take my costume off? CRAP!!!

And one for my fellow zombie fanatics!!

I hope I was able to make you smile, even if just fora moment. We all need more of that right???

A Halloween Stumble

Howdy folks, how was your Halloween? I am ashamed to say I did nothing, absolutely NOTHING for Halloween this year *hanging head in shame* Yes, the holiday I decorate the most for (aside from Christmas of course) and I decided to be lazy this year.

I really didn't think about it much all month. I had more reconstructive surgery on the 17th so for about a week or so I wasn't up to dressing myself, let alone my house and yard! I guess that was why it was easy to kind of forget about my normal October activities for so long. Then I go out to run errands yesterday and see the neighbors setting up all of their Halloween delights. Spider webs, jack'o'lanterns, lights, fog machine *sigh* I have all of that stuff too! DANG IT! Now I feel awful and I feel like something is missing. I mean I  have some great stuff.

So let me not only show you what we are CAPABLE of, but live vicariously through last Halloween......

of course the whole things has to start off with finding the right pumpkin right?

Kevin found his right off the bat. Hahaha bat...Halloween humor eerrrr nevermind

Then Jessi

and finally my picky butt found one I liked

We got right to work carving them up

And I think they came out great!

We even got Barney in on the fun. Although he seems slightly less excited about it than we were.

Then came the house

A fitting sign for our household

You can't tell very well but the chair covers were blood spattered with bloody hand prints on them ooohhhh scary right?

Zombie crossing anyone?

Of course you have to dig up long lost relatives for the Halloween festivities

And that my dear friends was the Halloween we should have had this year. But it is nice to be able to look back and see how much fun we did have and remind myself to do it next year!!

But because we didn't decorate this year we had no, zero, nada, trick or treaters. Now what am I going to do with 2 huge bags of candy??? Maybe I should set up a giveaway huh? Anyone want some Halloween candy???

I did however make a nice meal for dinner. No I wasn't a total lazy ass last night. So if you would like to see what I DID do last night, come check me out at Bobbi's Kozy Kitchen.

Pin It

That's Very Pintresting

WOW am I the only one that thinks Pintrest needs a 12 step program???? I don't think I have ever found a website MORE addictive than Pintrest. Well, Facebook maybe, but it is a pretty close race if you ask me! And the thing that I love about Pintrest is I can look for the things I love all in ONE place. Wanna find some yummy food.....Pintrest.....wanna find some funny graphics.....Pintrest.......wanna find some scrapbook layout ideas......OK you get it. When I finally DO drag myself away my daughter will say "Mom did you see the new stuff I pinned? Then I am like a dog in the woods...."Squirrel?" Get out of my way I have pinning to do!!!

OK I know that is sad huh? I will tell you I am not sitting at home eating chips and clicking my mouse all day (thank goodness) I am still cooking and running Bobbi's Kozy Kitchen so all is not lost folks! Right now I am in the middle of making some Chili Verde, something I have been wanting to do for quite some time but have always just grabbed a jar from the store thinking it would be too hard or labor intensive to make. Sheesh suck it up Bobbi! Cook woman, that is what you do for God's sake!!! So I am doing it damn it!! Now, how well it will turn out is left to be seen. If all goes well we will be having Pork in Chili Verde taco's for dinner....crossing my fingers!!

Now ummm back to Pintrest...see I can't stay away!! AAHHHHH but seriously, I have pictures I would like to pin on Facebook and that is the one place you can't pin from UGH!! So I downloaded a couple and I will post them here so I can pin them. Feel free to follow me on Pintrest if you want to see all of the internet goodies I find :)

This one is dedicated to my daughter!!

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!! Happy Pinning!